waiting on a heartbeat
— Clint Smith
the doctor says you are there even though we cannot hear you & you know what they say about the tree falling in the forest & i know i have never heard a tree i could not see but i have seen trees i could not hear little one are you the tree or the forest or the sound we cannot hear perhaps you are all three you are half the size of a fingernail they say & every time i hear that i look down at my cuticles & imagine you sitting there telling me it’s okay there is nothing to worry about there is joy in being a father to a mystery there is grace in watching the lilac & knowing its petals will not expand before your eyes only after you have left & you little one are my daily reminder that you do not go to a botanical garden to watch the flowers grow you go to give thanks for what has already blossomed
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