i’m no doctor but i’m pretty sure this infection has gone to my brain.
i slap/scratch/cry/claw at my face but nothing soothes, none of the pain gets me
to sleep. i just want a body that can endure me. i’m just looking for a way inside
joy: the touch of a lover’s hand, a winning lottery ticket, a country that would prefer me
alive. just want to want to be alive.
i know i should have gone to the doctor sooner, but what is fear if not
its own diagnosis. what could i do with my body ’s failings
but call it home.
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