I come here to watch the boats dock and disappear into the distance while the water waves to a shadow of itself as my estradiol dissolves

Even now, my life sits beside me.
The blue pill I let dissolve to create

room inside me for me has yet
to twist my hips, to breast me

like a branch. This body sitting on
the small beach, watching the boats

breathe. Here, this game of living explains
itself, not that I asked. In the parking lot,

a child struggles to free a kite
from their parents’ car, and birds

I could name, but won’t, leg themselves
along the seam of the tide. The blue

pill dissolving under my tongue like
a story that, when told, transforms.

Sometimes I blame the ocean
for the voice in my eyes saying

that nothing unseen is beautiful. The child,
their wingspan overwhelmed like

a door, asks Are you ready? of the kite, who
just swallows the invisible wind, its chest

bloomed in a shapeless shape like
how sleep fills a body with its body.